Tandem Toastmasters Newswire
January 1994

Table of Contents

Newswire Masthead (General Information)

Welcome to the January 1994 edition of Tandem Toastmasters Newswire, the on-line newsletter of the Tandem Toastmasters club. This newswire is intended to inform and inspire both club members and potential club members.

If you are an "inspired" nonmember and would like to experience a Tandem Toastmasters meeting firsthand, please come to a meeting -- as often as you want -- as a guest. We will ask you to introduce yourself and ask for your comments at the end of the meeting. We might invite you to participate in Table Topics (the impromptu part of our meeting). We will not pressure you to participate or to join the club.

Tandem Toastmasters meets Wednesdays, NOON to 1:00 PM, in room 2004 of building 201. Building 201 is at 10501 North Tantau Ave. (between Pruneridge Rd. and Vallco Parkway). Room 2004 is upstairs in the main hall -- look for the sign that says "Tandem Toastmasters meets here." Watch third class mail for our weekly agendas (but note that they are subject to change).

Tandem Toastmasters is part of Toastmasters International. In the Toastmasters International organization, Tandem Toastmasters is club #4658, in Area 6, Division G, District 4, and Region 2.

Give NEWSWIRE INPUT to Sheila Moore, Vice President of Public Relations, by e-mail (MOORE_SHEILA), "snail mail" (Loc. 252-30), or phone (285-5234).

For MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION, contact Frank Chen, Vice President of Membership, by e-mail (CHEN_FRANK), "snail mail" (Loc. 201-01), or phone (285-4194).

To send E-MAIL to the Tandem Toastmasters club and interested persons, address it to LAWSON_THOMAS.TM-DL @TSII. To send e-mail to Tandem Toastmasters club members only, address it to LAWSON_THOMAS.TM-MEMBERS @TSII.

For a list of NETVIEWABLE FILES related to Tandem Toastmasters, see \PRUNE.$FACE.TM.README. Send any corrections to Sheila Moore.

Toastmaster of the Year

Every year our club selects a Toastmaster of the Year. Selection is based on attendance, leadership, educational achievements, sponsorship of new members, and participation in inter-club, area, division and district activities.

The following Tandem Toastmasters were nominated for 1993 Tandem Toastmaster of the Year (order is alphabetical):

• Frank Chen
• Jo Ann Cobb
• Ray Glasstone
• Ann Hsu
• Tom Lawson
• Sheila Moore

Members were asked to rate each candidate in three areas -- enthusiasm, dedication, and helping others -- awarding points as follows:

Enthusiasm	Does the member reflect enthusiasm for fellow members, for the club, and for Toastmasters?
Dedication	Does the member readily and enthusiastically accept all assignments and willingly contribute to the club's well-being?
Helping others	Does the member evaluate others' speeches with the purpose of recognizing achievement, fostering continued improvement, and building self-esteem?

The Tandem Toastmaster of 1993 will be announced at the club Tall Tales & International Speech Contest on January 23.

Club Tall Tales and International Speech Contests are February 23

Our club Tall Tales and International Speech Contest is January 23. The winners will represent our club in the Area G6 Tall Tales and International Speech Contest.

Tall Tales Contest

The Tall Tales Contest is open to any member in good standing. The contest rules say that the purpose of a Tall Tale is:

• To provide an opportunity for speakers to improve their speaking abilities.

• To provide an opportunity to learn by observing the more proficient speakers who have benefitted from their Toastmasters training.

• To provide participants with the opportunity to create an original, highly improbable, humorous tale.

The timing is as follows:

International Speech Contest

To be eligible to enter the International Speech Contest:

• You must have been an active Toastmaster in good standing (paid your dues) since July 1, 1993.

• You must have completed at least six projects in the Communications and Leadership Program manual.

An International Speech is 5-7 minutes. Though it can be on any topic, most past International Speeches have been inspirational.

How to Enter

To enter either club contest, contact EVP Tom Lawson (LAWSON_THOMAS) in time to be included on the January 23 agenda.

Possible Sources of Inspiration

If you need ideas for your Tall Tale or International Speech, it might help to review the reports of last year's contests, which are in the following netviewable files:

See also EVP Tom Lawson's message later in this newswire.

TMI New Member Building Contest -- and Club Contest to Go With It

Even though VP Membership Frank Chen has been to Officer Training many times before, he learned new things when he went again this term -- the most interesting one being that Toastmasters International is having a New Member Building Contest. Here's how it works:

• If you, a member, bring 1-3 new members into the club, you get a certificate.

• If you, a member, bring 4 or more new members into the club, you get a TMI "Care Bear" pin.

• If any member of the club does either of the above, the club gets a banner.

Frank told his fellow officers-in-training that our club wants to gain 1-5 new members per month in this six-month (January to June 1994) term. To that end, Frank will set up an additional club-level recognition program to reward those of us who recruit the most new members. Stay tuned for more details from Frank.

Top 10 Newsletter Contest --
Judging Standards and Plea for Help

As your newswire editor, I intend to submit our newswire to Toastmasters International's 1993-1994 Top 10 Newsletter Contest. This means sending TMI three issues of our newswire, published between July 1, 1993 and April 26, 1994. The deadline is April 26, 1994.

The newsletters are judged on content, readability, and layout -- and TMI assured me that content and readability carry more weight than layout. Here are TMI's judging standards:

Content

• Is content balanced among educational articles, recognition of member and club/district achievement, and encouragement to participate in Toastmasters activities?

• Does the newsletter promote understanding of Toastmasters' programs, promotions, policies, and mission?

• Does the newsletter contain personality profiles and highlights of the business meetings? Is it informative and entertaining?

• Does the newsletter prominently feature the editor's name, address, and telephone number on each issue?

• Does the club newsletter clearly indicate the club's name, district and club numbers, and meeting time and place? Does the district newsletter clearly indicate the district's number and location?

Readability

• Does the writing meet acceptable standards of sentence structure, spelling, punctuation, and grammar?

• Is the writing interesting and clear?

Layout and Presentation

• Does the newsletter's appearance stimulate reader interest?

• Does the layout indicate careful attention to white space, page balance, effective use of graphics, and the importance and organization of the articles?

Plea for Help

I highly encourage you to give me both articles and suggestions for improving our newswire! These are welcome any time, but especially between now and the end of March, because the January and March issues of our newswire are the last ones eligible for the 1993-1994 Top 10 Newsletter Contest.

Thank you very much!
Sheila

Three Ice Breaker Pins This Months!

Officers' Messages"

Message from President Ann Hsu:
We're Back and Stronger Than Ever!

I'm very honored and happy to be leading this great club! Having decided to be a hermit for awhile (you can tell, right :) and to only participate in one 'activity,' TM was a great choice for me. I've learned so much about myself and about the interesting people around me. Plus, where else can you hear about such a wide range of topics from gelatos to gun control?

I think our club has done tremendously well in recovering from the low morale caused by layoffs. We've had several people join us in the last couple of months. Our club, in terms of membership, is definitely on a comeback! In other aspects, our quality meetings really make me proud to be a member.

I feel very lucky to have a great board of officers to work with. Everyone is extremely dedicated and enthusiastic. I really have the easiest job :)

I am looking forward to serving the club as President as well as continuing to reap the benefits of Toastmasters.

My message to the club for the year ahead: Let's all work together to make our club better for our members. WE'RE BACK AND STRONGER THAN EVER!

Cheers,
Ann

Messages from VP Education Tom Lawson

Contests

(Excerpted from an e-mail message)

Twice a year, Toastmasters International holds contests. In the summer it's Evaluation and Humorous, in the winter it's International Speech and Tall Tales. On January 23 our club will hold a contest to determine who will represent us [at the area level]. I would like to encourage all of you to compete! I've competed three times and never regretted it. Though winning is more fun, the experience is the most valuable thing you bring home with you. I'd like to offer my services -- answering questions, evaluating speeches, etc. -- to anyone who chooses to compete. I found contest competition to be my most growing Toastmasters experience (so far), so give it some thought. Don't worry if you don't have ideas or don't feel like your skills are perfect; we, the club, will work with you.

I'll be organizing the contest so let me know your interest.

Thanks,
Tom

Suggestions for the Table Topics Master

Suggestions for the Table Topics master: Try to call on folks who have no role or have a minor role. Gear the question to the skill level of the respondent. If the person is good with table topics, give them a real toughy. Try to choose people who have trouble with table topics. This will give them a chance to grow. Avoid guests unless they are members of another club. Most guests have enough trouble introducing themselves!

Cheers,
Tom Lawson, EVP

Message from VP Membership Frank Chen: Members' Interest Survey

(Reprinted e-mail message)

It is important that we know what you as the member of the Tandem TM Club wants to do in your participation of the TM meetings and activities. In the past, we have done a Member Survey approximately once every six months. It is my turn to send one out to you this six-month term. I'll distribute the Member Interest Survey to you today in the meeting. Please return it to me within two weeks. The Club will use your input to plan both educational activities and other club events, so please do return the survey to me as soon as you can. I'll report the consolidated results after I get all of your input. You can also mark other items not listed in the survey, expressing your other personal needs.

Thank you in advance for your time and your continuing interest.

Frank T. Chen
VP Membership

Message from VP Public Relations Sheila Moore:
Camera Masters, Beware!

Camera Masters, beware! What you say while taping is recorded, so be careful not to say anything you wouldn't want the speaker (or anyone else who might watch the tape) to hear. I have some rather funny Camera Master's comments on my tape -- nothing offensive, fortunately for him! I hope the tapes I made as Camera Master don't have me swearing at the *#$%& camera or anything! If yours does, I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you with free gelato -- you have to prove it, of course. :@)

New Members in January

Catherine Renteria has been an "Admin" in Tandem's Hardware Product Assurance Department in building 55 for five years. She reports to John Reynolds and supports 23 engineers, including three managers. She likes her job and the people she works with. On her sabbatical last fall, she traveled throughout Arizona and the Four Corners with Ted, her husband of one year. Cathy and Ted's family includes Cathy's two daughters and Ted's son and daughter, but none of them live with Cathy and Ted. Cathy enjoys public speaking, but not the anxiety that accompanies it -- she hopes Toastmasters will relieve that.

Victor Gutierrez is a UNIX System Support Capital and Contracts Coordinator in building 3. He joined Tandem in July 1985 and lives in Santa Clara. Victor is the only person I know who set a good example for the club before he even joined it -- by filling out a member profile for the December 1993 newswire.

John Humphreys is a manager of Network QA in building 201. He joined Tandem in April 1993 and lives in Fremont.

Member Lost in January

Jo Ann Cobb left Tandem and Tandem Toastmasters, but she said she would stay in touch. Perhaps she can speak at our next Homecoming Day (she didn't agree to this suggestion of mine, but that won't stop us from asking her again later :-)

Highlights of January Meetings

January 5 Meeting

* Used Word of the Day

January 12 Meeting

* Used Word of the Day

January 19 Meeting

* Used Word of the Day

January 26 Meeting

* Used Word of the Day

Minutes of January 28 Toastmasters Board Meeting

President's Report

Ann reported information from the Area and District meetings she attended, including our club's status in TMI's Distinguished Club Program and the date of the Area Tall Tales & International Speech Contest -- April 1. Because April 1 is Good Friday, Ann will suggest to Area Governor Clare Mullin that the date be changed.

EVP's Report

Tom reminded us that our club Tall Tales & International Speech Contest is January 23, and that on March 23, he plans to have a speakers' clinic focusing on voice. He asked for volunteers to speak and evaluate at the Castaways TM club on January 9. Ann volunteered to speak and Sandy volunteered to evaluate.

VPPR's Report

Sheila said the January newswire would be ready for distribution as soon as the minutes of this meeting were available. She agreed to type them up for Sandy, who did not have time this afternoon. The January newswire will include the rules of the TMI Top 10 Newswire Contest. Sheila said she sends the weekly TM ads by both second and third class mail, and someone said that the mail police might object. Sheila is going to wait until they do object and then (probably) argue with them. (As she types this, Sheila is planning to take it out of the nonmembers' edition of the newswire, just in case the mail police read that :-)

VP Membership's Report

Frank reported that our three newest members have mentors: Sandy is Catherine Renteria's, Tom is Victor Gutierrez', and Ann is John Humphreys'. Frank will contact TMI and be sure that Renee Harris gets the CTM certificate she earned.

Secretary's Report

Sandy said that the average meeting attendance is 14. She reported the top three scorers in the Tandem Toastmaster of the Year Contest, and we agreed that whoever had the most points would be the winner. The winner will be announced at the club Tall Tales & International Speech Contest on January 23. Sandy asked if anyone needed to order anything, as she plans to order pins and certificates soon.

Treasurer's Report

Anup said that the club has about $450. Our current bank, First Interstate, charges us for our account, so Anup is looking for another bank. He got information from several, including the Tandem Credit Union, which does not accept club accounts.

Sergeant at Arms' Report

Scott asked us to choose dates that we would be willing to be Sergeant at Arms. Scott will train people to be Sergeant at Arms. We moved that Sergeant at Arms will be treated as a meeting role, and Tom will add it to the schedule.

Videotapes for New Members

Sandy moved to buy a supply of videotapes to give to new members.

Lending C&L Manual to New Members

Anup moved to charge a $2 "security deposit" when we lend a Communication & Leadership Manual to a new member. When the new member receives his/her own manual from TMI, s/he can return the loaner and get his/her $2 back. We voted to accept this proposal.

Membership Goals

Frank wants us to add 1.5 new members per month and have 3 new CTMs by June. Tom plans to have 4 special meetings this term and 3 Speaker-Evaluator exchanges.

Associate Membership

Sandy proposed to remove club Associate Membership, as previously defined, from the board's consideration. Votes were 3 in favor, 3 opposed, and 1 abstention. Tom moved to accept the concept of Associate Membership as previously defined. Votes were 4 in favor, 2 opposed, and 1 abstention. Ann will send the newswire a message about this.

Officer Training

All but one officer attended Officer Training this term.

Club Membership Promotional Program

Frank wants to add a club-level award (a certificate) to the awards that TMI is offering for its membership building program. Frank will award the club certificate at the end of our term.

Ribbons

Nobody seconded the motion to discuss ribbons again, so we didn't.

Success Leadership Modules

Frank will call a meeting of persons interested in participating in Success Leadership Modules.

New Member Application Process

Sheila will send the officers another copy of the process she wrote up.

Official Table Topics Policy

We decided that the Table Topics Master can call on anyone -- experienced or not -- but that s/he should tailor the questions to the respondents' experience level. Tom will send the newswire a message about this.

Survey Results: What did you do for Speech 2?

Thanks to everyone who replied. No replies were left out.

President Ann Hsu said:

My speech #2 was titled "An Open Mind." That was an easy question!

Ray Glasstone said:

I had to repeat speech 2 because I was not earnest enough!!!!!! I gave a speech about a bicycle ride I was doing to raise money for multiple sclerosis. The evaluator and the prez (Suzanne Z) thought I spent too much time raising money and not enough time being earnest! I did repeat the speech on another topic -- but I have no idea what.

Betty Snedaker said:

I did something Education related, I even remember the title "Our Adminstrain them or strain them" regarding building an administrative training curriculum for our secretaries. I actually got to live out my plan to fruition, even though we are not training anymore in that regard.

Robin Maybury said:

My speech # 2 entitled "What is this life?" encouraged the audience to continue to exercise and eat wisely but to learn the benefit of relaxing regularly. Relaxation should not be an extension of work but something totally different and should be used in conjunction with moderate cardiovascular exercise and a carefully developed balanced diet. (That even allows for Gelato!) The quote I used was from Goethe: "One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

Editor's note: I commend Robin for showing the proper reverence for "Gelato" by capitalizing it :@)

Scott Townsend said:

My speech #2 was "Budgeting -- Keys to Personal Management."

To answer my own question, I (Sheila) say:

My speech #2, "Tandem Toastmasters -- What's in It for You?" was a "PR" speech for last year's club Open House. I chose this topic for that meeting because I was VPPR then too.

Volunteers Needed for Junior Achievement Project

(Reprint of e-mail message)

Hello Toasties,

I am looking for a volunteer to help in a Junior Achievement project at my daughters' school. The project is teaching a class in business created for the fifth grade level. The length of the project is 5 to 6 weeks, teaching one hour a week. The prep time for each class is about an hour, all supplies needed will be provided by JA.

I will be one of the teachers in this project, there are 3 fifth grade classes at the school that have signed up to participate. Two of these fifth grade classes have a teacher (volunteer) assigned, myself and the PTA President, we still need a volunteer for the third class.

If you are interested in volunteering or have any questions please call me at 5-6382 or reply to this message. Thanks for taking the time to read this message and for your quick response in volunteering. Great chance to use all your finely tuned presentation skills.

Thank You
Victor (have application filled out and ready) Gutierrez

To Speak or Not to Speak -- Chinese

"Hsu lao shi zao!"

"Hsu lao shi zao!" (Chinese for "Good morning, Teacher Hsu!") Two excited voices greeted me as I was locking up my bike outside the Foreign Languages Department building at Qinghua University on a bright and sunny October morning.

The first class of the morning had just let out. I turned and saw Chris and Jason, two boys from my freshman class, walking towards me, arm in arm, with big smiles on their faces.

"Are you going to be at office hour this afternoon?" Chris asked in Chinese.

"Huh?" I replied.

"Are you going to be at office hour this afternoon?" he asked again in Chinese.

"Huh?" again was my reply.

Jason quickly realized what was going on and asked me the same question in English.

"Oh, yes, of course. I'll be there around 4:30 PM." I continued jokingly, "You're lucky we're not in class, Chris. Otherwise you'd be fined!"

Before even arriving at Qinghua University, I had pondered whether to speak Chinese with my students or not. I decided not to, from a professional stand- point, because the Foreign Languages Department had hired me to teach there as an American, not a Chinese person. So I should be "American." But in spite of my decision to speak English all the time, deep down inside, I wanted to speak Chinese, not only to practice for myself but also to relate to the students on a level that I couldn't achieve speaking a language that was foreign to them.

Regardless of my personal desires, at the beginning of the semester, I outlawed Chinese in the classroom. Each phrase would earn the student a fine of five fen (about a penny). I started by giving everyone an English name if he/she didn't have one already. I also told them that I could understand enough Chinese to know when anyone spoke Chinese, so that they had better not try to fool me.

My sophomores had no problem with this rule of not speaking Chinese in class. During their freshman year, they had a foreign teacher who didn't understand a word of Chinese. So they had gotten used to speaking English in class all year. My freshmen, however, possessed a much wider range of abilities. Some of them were very fluent, mostly those from Beijing or other big cities' high schools. But others really worried me because they came from remote provinces around China and had never studied with a foreign teacher who spoke English to them all the time.

My teaching schedule required me to teach the sophomores six hours per week and the freshmen only two hours per week. I thought this was too little time to spend with my students. It wouldn't give me enough time to get to know them or for them to get to know me. Consequently, I set up office hours twice a week at the campus "Student Service Center." Coming from Berkeley, I called it a "sidewalk cafe," and promised to buy a drink for everyone who came. Of course, English had to be spoken at office hour. Almost every one of my students came to the cafe at least once during the year, some more often than others. There we talked about all kinds of topics ranging from college life in America, to sports, to dating, to the American political system. I also asked about their lives in China. I always wondered what it would have been like to go to college in China.

A few weeks into the semester, I was getting some regulars at the cafe. However, the shyer students weren't coming. I wanted to somehow get to know them as well. Talking about college life in China had made me more curious about the living conditions of my students. One day in early November, I asked my freshmen if it would be all right to visit them in their dorms that evening. The students were visibly excited at my suggestion! I was too.

I want to the freshmen girls' dorm around 9:30 PM, after their "self study" session that began every night after dinner, around 5:30 PM. That was the primary time for doing homework. Each student would find a desk in a classroom and spend the night there, often until the room and the building had to be locked at 10 PM. That night, most of the girls came back from self study early because they knew I was coming to visit. When I arrived, some were still studying, and some were preparing to go to bed. They showed me their modest rooms, four girls to each 10 feet by 12 feet rectangular room, enough to fit four bunk beds and four small desks. At one time the university had eight students per room so that all the bunk beds were filled. The girls had to fetch hot water from a different building in order to wash their faces. And with no closets, the students had to keep their rooms neat enough for weekly inspections.

My students generally spoke Chinese with each other outside of class. Some had made efforts to speak English in their rooms. That night, however, the girls requested that I speak Chinese with them. For the past month and a half they hadn't heard me speak Chinese at all. But they knew that my Chinese was fluent because they had heard this from other people in the department, like the mailroom clerk, the lab technician or the librarian, with whom I had to speak Chinese.

I thought about the girls' request. I had been wanting to speak Chinese with them because for many of the freshmen, their English wasn't good enough to express their thoughts to me. Every time they spoke with me, their carefree smiles and spirits disappeared and were immediately replaced with heavy thoughts. I could see their minds churning for the right words. That night, since I was in their dorm and it was late at night, I didn't think it was fair to make them work so hard. By speaking Chinese, I could also get closer to them, especially the shy ones. I decided to give in and speak Chinese with them. The girls were delighted, as if they had just gotten away with doing something illegal!

Around 10 PM a couple of the girls came with me to the boys' dorm. The rowdier boys of the class were out posting flyers for an upcoming event, so I talked with the others in the meantime. A few minutes later the rowdy ones came back. Led by Danny, the most outspoken one, Nick, Chris, and Jason came in and said, "Hsu lao shi hao!" (Chinese for "Hi, Teacher Hsu!") one after the other like a machine gun. As they stepped inside the door of the cramped room, they bumped into one another like a line of kindergarten kids where the first one stopped and each one in the rest of the line bumped into the one ahead. They were so cute I couldn't help laughing. I asked them in English where they had gone to put up the flyers. They said, "Huh?" I asked again, and got the same reply. Then Danny told me, in Chinese, that since I had outlawed Chinese for them in class, they had outlawed English for me in their dorm! I thought to myself: the whole freshman class must have conspired this earlier in the day; that was why the girls had asked me to speak Chinese with them that night! OK, I'll speak Chinese with the boys too.

They had coerced me that night: I spent the next two hours conversing in Chinese with seven or eight of my freshman boys in their crowded dorm room. The girls had to return to their dorm because the doors were going to be locked at 11 PM. At 10:45 PM, the lights went out. Without any fanfare, the boys pulled out candles and flashlights, their normal study setups after the lights were turned off. The scene resembled that of a secret society meeting, with everyone hovered over the candles and around me. What was created in the next two hours was exactly what I had wished for: a special bond between me and "my kids."

Danny started by telling some ghost stories. Then we sang some Chinese revolutionary songs but soon resorted to English songs because the Chinese ones had such staccato beats and fighting themes that they didn't seem to fit the atmosphere of the moment. Instead, we sang "I Just Called to Say I Love You." Then the topic turned to American culture, and then a little bit of politics. We touched upon June 4 and the Tiananmen Square demonstrations, at which point someone suggested that we change the subject. Although I was not going to bring up this particular topic myself, I was not going to avoid it if someone else brought it up. In any case, most of my students were only high school juniors in 1989, so they didn't really understand what had been happening in the universities.

That was the night I really got to know my freshman boys. Danny was definitely the charmer of the class, yet he didn't seem fake at all. Four years living in a boarding high school away from his parents had sharpened his social skills. He amused us with his high school escapades and spoke with such sincerity that I couldn't help falling for him.

Chris remained very quiet all night. He probably spoke the best English in his class, and normally he would speak often, both in class and at the cafe. But he seemed cautious and spoke little that night. Perhaps he wanted to observe his classmates and me in this informal atmosphere. Other boys frequently teased him because of his Chinese name, which sounded like the words for "small crack." He didn't retaliate and just smiled.

Jason was a materialist and pragmatist. He didn't waste time thinking about such things as the fate of the country or the responsibilities of the youth to the nation. As long as he was not hungry or cold, he was happy. He loved to listen to rock music by American artists as well as those by Hong Kong and Taiwan rock stars. He was the only boy in class who had a girlfriend, a fact which he was teased about often.

Nick seemed like a Chinese James Dean. He had the rebel haircut and the rebel attitude. He often spoke with sarcasm and dismissed his classmates' opinions as insignificant. At first I had pegged him as a troublemaker. But that night I realized that he actually had a very good head on his shoulders. His rebelliousness was partially just due to his youth.

Ron had the best sense of humor and was fairly outspoken. Since his English was not as good as that of others in the class, I hadn't heard him speak much before that night. However, that night we were speaking "their" language. Ron carried the attitude of someone who had nothing to lose. When the topic turned to June 4th and someone motioned a change, Ron said: "What's there to be afraid of? The worst they can do is send me back to the countryside. Well, that's where I'm from anyway!" He was not afraid, unlike Jason who had grown up in Beijing.

Frank had the poorest English speaking skills in the class. He never spoke unless I addressed him first. Even then, he needed his classmates to translate. But that night he was much more lively. He spoke in the manner of a dead-pan comedian, offering clever jokes and comments. He also loved poetry, and his Chinese was probably the best in his class. I felt that he had gotten closer to me after that evening. I had become a friend as well as a teacher. As Danny put it, I had "cultivated good feelings and mutual understanding" that night.

It was past midnight by the time I was ready to leave. The whole entourage escorted me downstairs. The dormitory doors were locked, as always after 11 PM. However, the double doors had a fairly loose chain across the inside handle bars. Pushing the doors out as far as possible created a triangular space between the door frame on top and the doors, enough space to fit a body through. Nick demonstrated how the boys would climb up and get in if they were locked outside after 11 PM. He stepped on the chain across the handles, maneuvered his body out the triangular space on top, jumped and landed on the outside. I said I could probably do the same thing. But most of the boys objected, saying that I shouldn't do it, being a teacher and a girl. Instead, the boys woke up the doorman who was fast asleep already and very grumpy at being woken up past midnight. He didn't seem to believe that the boys' teacher was locked inside. I didn't blame him since I looked practically the same age as the boys. Nonetheless, he unchained the doors under the boys' coercion and declared that he was not going to do it again that night!

Nick and Danny said that they would escort me back to my dorm. So the rest of the boys bid farewell to me and stayed inside. Since I had ridden my bike to their dorm, Nick and Danny decided that I should sit on the back seat of Danny's bike while Nick rode mine back for me. Their gentlemanly manners really impressed me! On the way home, Nick confessed that he felt as if he was committing a crime by speaking Chinese with me. Their Chinese teachers had told them to take advantage of the fact that they can practice English with me. In reality, these boys did not need me or their Chinese teachers to tell them that. They all knew what was expected of them. After all, they had made it to the top school in the country. They knew what was appropriate behavior.

I realized that night that I didn't need to force my students to speak English with me. Although I still kept the "no Chinese in class" rule, outside of class the rule didn't apply. Nevertheless, I spoke mostly English with them outside of class, and they did with me as well. The fact that I understood Chinese, especially that I understood their humor in Chinese, really helped bring me closer to them. Because their English was not good enough to express quick humor, having me appreciate their cleverness in Chinese meant a lot to them. I realized that creating friendships with my students was more effective than forcing them to speak English. Because they liked me, they wanted to impress me and tried harder to make me proud of them. And proud of them I was!